Awake and Alive

I'm still here, still believing though I don't always know why. Last year was the worst of my life. Son Malik was so sick. He spent large portions of the year in the hospital. When I think about it, I want to scream or throw up. I spent much of the time howling like a banshee then acting like a smiley bobble head doll in the hospital. But that's what you have to do. It wouldn't have helped him at all to see me breaking down.

But it's a new year now. Time for a change they tell me. Or maybe it's a CHANGE. We'll see. The important thing is that if I'm still here, there must be a reason. There must be something for me to do, some task to complete. One would think that by now I'd know my much touted "purpose in life," but I guess that has to wait till I grow up.

Meanwhile, I'm going to continue this search. Hey, my son's alive. All the rest is one big ole piece of double fudge mocha chocolate goodness.